La Mia Bambina...
I promised the birbantella that I would write a story for her. I am no good at this. Sar is the writer but I keep my word so I asked someone to help me with the phrasing. Sar's oldest and closest friend lives in Chicago. She and her husband have 4 fine boys - Sar and I are their godparents. She and Sar speak to each other every day via Ma Bell so you know they are really more like sisters. I asked her to help me with this. She told me to write more than facts, to express my feelings, which is simple when I'm talking to mia innamorata but hard to put into words on paper.
For most of us, it is hard to admit our errors when we are wrong. If we repeat the error, there is often some guilt attached. Not Sar. She is happy to apologize and happy to continue to do what she wants when she wants - she never owns up to guilt.
If she is caught repeating the error, she pays. If she is not caught, she will NEVER admit to any wrongdoing. Like I said - Sar doesn't have a guilty bone in her sweet body.
I admit to making a poor decision recently - not a life threatening one, but one that disappointed la mia bambina.
Throughout our marriage and my military career, I've been away from home on various matters. Some of the places I've been were places where Sar would have enjoyed a few days to visit and shop and play tourist and she asked me a few times if she could go with me. The nature of my work in the Navy is that my orders could change once I reached a certain locale and though she could meet me, there is no guarantee that's where I'd be by the time she got there. I don't want her alone in a foreign city and though I know she can take care of herself - after she came into my life, I took over that responsibility. I told her no a few times and she stopped asking me, wished me Godspeed and was there with open arms when I came home. I am a lucky man.
This past year has been a hard one for both of us. Sar has been seriously ill a few times, there was the conflict in the Middle East and we relocated to the base for several months, uprooting us and leaving us and many others filled with tension and stress.
In the late fall I received orders to travel to Italy. The orders weren't "immediate" so there was a chance they could change. If they didn't change, I planned to take Sar with me. I didn't tell her until the last minute because I didn't want her to be disappointed if I found out that she couldn't accompany me. We left to go overseas and I told Sar I would finish my work and then we would have a few days to enjoy Naples and Roma.
We took a red-eye into DC so I could be briefed prior to flying to Europe. Mid-way there, Sar started coughing and hyperventilating. She was running a mild fever and it wasn't long before she was nauseous and in general, sick as a dog. Sar had just recuperated from a serious bout of pneumonia and I admit that I overreacted. As soon as we landed, I got us to Bethesda Naval Hospital as soon as I could. By this time, I knew Sar was in bad shape because she didn't protest when the ER doctor drew blood and listened to her heart. He pumped her full of antibiotics and admitted her overnight for observation. Once she was asleep and resting comfortably, the doctor told me it was probably one of those 24-hour flu bugs and he wanted to do a complete workup on her to be certain. I pictured her getting sicker when we were in Europe and I couldn't take that chance. I explained all this to her the next morning. She didn't buy it.
Here's the bad decision: I left her at Bethesda and went on to London to make my connection to Italy.
When I landed in London, Sar called to say the effects of the flu were gone and that she'd catch the next flight out and meet me in Italy. Here's my bad decision compounded: I told her I didn't want her flying by herself doped up on meds and that she should stay at the hospital for a complete checkup and I'd fly back as soon as my business was finished. She didn't argue with me but looking back I realize now that she didn't agree with me either.
The next morning, my cell rings and it's one of the hospital administrators asking me if Sar is with me. It seems the birbantella said goodbye to me, got dressed and walked out of the hospital without a word and without anyone seeing her. I've known stealth warriors that can be invisible when necessary but how does a civilian woman evade a military hospital staff? Now I'm worried and angry.
If anyone knows where Sar is, it's her friend in Chicago and I call her first. She says she doesn't know where Sar is. Now I'm just worried. Later I find out she knew Sar was on her way to Chicago - a question I failed to ask - but at the time I called, she didn't know *exactly* where the plane carrying Sar was in the sky. The two of them are too much alike. As soon as my duties were completed in Italy, I took the first flight to Chicago.
Sar doesn't hear me come into the living room. She's on her hands and knees playing marbles with two of our godsons. Sar's an expert marble shooter plus she cheats - the boys don't have a chance. Normally she'd let them win a few games but the stakes are chocolate turtles. Mia bambina doesn't give an inch when it comes to chocolate.
When I flew to Chicago, Sar's health was uppermost in my mind. She looks okay but I need to touch her. I haven't seen her in about a week and I want her in my arms. I call her name and she turns toward me but before she can get off the floor I catch her up in my arms and squeeze the stuffin out of her. The boys - 14 and 16 - snort, whistle and clap until their mother pulls them out of the room. Then I really kiss the birbantella.
I can't wait to love her but hugging and kissing her will have to do for the time being. I also can't wait to light a fire on that cute little butt for disappearing without telling me but that will have to wait too.
We take a flight home the next afternoon. Sar sleeps in my arms and as far as I can tell, she's no worse for wear. I just want to get home and we can deal with everything later. I know she's disappointed about missing the trip. I'm disappointed too and I know I made the wrong decision but I'm disturbed that she left the hospital and didn't bother to inform me of her whereabouts.
I picked up some takeout on the way home from the airport. We're both a little tired and I want to get some food into her before she calls it a night. I make sure she eats and I'm weighing the effect of dealing with the issues now or waiting until we're both rested. When we get to bed, Sar brings the subject up.
She says she didn't let me know where she was because she was angry with me. She knows I was worried but said I deserved to worry. She could be right about that but that's not going to get her out of my retribution. I tell her I'm going to spank her good and hard for not letting me know where she was. She shrugs which is not a good sign because Sar doesn't take a hard spanking without a fight. It's possible she's too tired to argue but I wouldn't bet the farm on that. I'm tired too and decide she gets a good taste of my displeasure first thing the next morning.
Ok - sometimes we need to have a backup plan.
I wake up and the birbantella is sound asleep in my arms. I look at her while she sleeps and it's the God's honest truth, I'm overwhelmed by the feelings I have when I look at her. When a man has been intimate with a woman for a number of years, how she looks - her beauty - is something you tend to overlook. In your head, you know it's there, but being overwhelmed by how she looks to the point where you can't stop looking and can't stop kicking yourself for being so lucky to have her, diminishes. After years of living with the imp, there are still times every day when I look at her and feel like I've been sucker punched from the sweet pain of looking at the woman I love. The fact that I know she loves me weighs heavy on my mind.
She's lying in my arms and she's hugging me. She's wearing one of my T-shirts and it's rucked up her back and I am looking over her shoulder and can see her lower back. The blanket barely covers her butt and I see the top of her bottom cheeks. I've missed her and I'm reconsidering my plans.
I kiss her awake and let nature take its course. She falls asleep right after that and I leave for work.
I'm prepared to have a serious discussion with her after work and when I get home the first thing I see is a note on the kitchen table. Sar and the dogs have "gone away for a few days," "need a little space," and "will call you tomorrow."
I am not happy about this turn of events.
I know where she is - she's in the San Juans - that's where she goes when she's unhappy with me. It's cold and damp there and a gathering place for orca whales. But it's the wrong time of year for them. They've already headed south for the winter.
I make arrangements to take a few days off and get to the island long after nightfall. Sar doesn't seem surprised to see me. She's sitting on the cold beach bundled up in heavy sweats and a thick hooded parka. Both of her dogs are wearing heavy sweaters - the mastiff sits on one side of her and the rott on the other. They whine when they see me but keep their bodies next to Sar. I'm always amazed at their devotion to her and am thankful they are with her.
I ask her if she wants company. She nods and I sit down behind her, pushing the dogs back a little and wrap my arms around her. The ocean is about fifty yards to our right and the light wind coming off it is chilly. I wrap my arms tighter around her. The second she starts to shiver I'm going to warm her in more ways than one.
Once I'm holding her, she relaxes and not long after that she falls asleep. I pick her up and take her back to the cabin we always stay in. As soon as I made a fire, the dogs settled there and I pulled mia bambina back into my arms. When she wakes, I tell her to talk to me.
She says she loves me but was unhappy with my decision and wasn't really sure if I had planned to take her to Italy or if it was an excuse to leave her at Bethesda. I explain my reasons all over again. I did want her to go with me and I apologize for making the wrong decision. But that doesn't excuse her behavior - not in DC and not for coming here to the island.
I tell her I'm going to spank her good and hard for leaving my arms empty, for worrying me unnecessarily and for tearing my heart out. Then I'll kiss you all over I tell her and but first I'm turning your sweet butt into a 3-alarm fire!
Sar never believes me when I tell her she's getting a sound spanking. I put the dogs in the front room and shut the door so they won't interfere. She protests vehemently when I remove her garments and put her over my lap. During this process she makes typical bambina remarks - baboon butthead is her newest curse. Picture a baboon's butt - yeah, that's ugly and camel dung! And shark bait! I know better than to laugh at her epithets. Sar's cussing might be creative but she's very serious. Did I mention I love this woman?
She gets just enough stinging spanks that she knows that even though I made the wrong decision, her actions caused my displeasure. I ask her if she's going to do that again. Sar doesn't lie and she won't make a promise she's not sure of keeping so she doesn't say anything. I remind her that I love her but I won't tolerate her disappearing acts even if I make another wrong decision. She told me I needed a course in couth.
I'm about to keep warming that little butt to emphasize my point but she looks back over her shoulder at me. She's damn sexy and she's mine. I pull her up into my arms and whatever the hell it was I was going to do escapes me. I tighten my arms around her and the tension I had been feeling disappears. She is my anchor in life. Whatever problems we need to resolve, whatever problems there are on the job disappear when I'm holding la mia bambina. She's my birbantella and regardless of the consequences of her actions, lives life every day. It's one of the many reasons I love her.
I'm holding her close to me, my fingers pressed against her spine and I put a hand on her bottom cheeks - they warm my palm. I have to love her and I do. After making love to this woman for many years, you'd think I'd be immune to all but the most basic feelings. It doesn't work that way with us. What we have is a love affair - we are very familiar with each other's body but our loving feels new and mind blowing every time. After mia bambina and I have made love, we float - we come back to earth in stages - and in love all over again. Si, I am a very lucky man.
Siete cosi molto preziosi a me Adora.