I lost a major bet with mia bambina and because I gave my word I will pay the forfeit. The nature of the bet is between the imp and myself but the stakes were that she would follow my orders for a week if I won and I would write a story with her if I lost. I have to say that Sar was so relieved that she would not have to follow my orders for a week that I thought she was going to drop the rest of it.
I was wrong. I should have known better to think she would and I should have known after all these years not to make a bet with her when she agrees too easily. The bet included a stipulation of no holds barred so while I am bigger than the imp by a long shot and that is my advantage, she was able to cheat at every possible opportunity - something she would have done regardless. She cheated like there was no tomorrow and I couldn't cheat back because there was that size factor.
I tried to convince her that following my orders would be fun for both of us but Sar has nightmares about eating vegetables. She's convinced they are alien. And it is true I would have insisted she eat a few. It would have been one of those rare wonders of the world - the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Sar eating green healthy food for a week. If she ate them I would have taken out a full page ad in The Navy Times. I tried to convince her that my orders would be enjoyable but she didn't buy it. This does not mean I relinquish my decision to give her a comeuppance if necessary. It only means that from time to time I will post un frammento - a fragment of our lives.
And I have agreed to write a story with her and we will work on that when other matters in our lives give us leave to do so.
Un frammento -
We lived in Virginia the first time Sar decided she needed to get away for a few days. I had to be at Norfolk and wasn't able to come home each night. Spoke to Sar every day and all seemed well until the day I got home. All her note said was that she would call soon.
Before I could digest this turn of events, the phone rang. It was Paul, Alli's husband. Alli is Sar's oldest friend and had stood up for us when we were married. Alli also decided to get away for a few days.
The way I understand it, Alli and Paul had a disagreement and Alli lost her temper. She called Sar and said she needed some time away from Paul and was headed for New Orleans and would Sar meet her there? Of course the imp agreed.
Paul and I made a game plan to catch up with them. He called some folks in Chicago who knew the whereabouts of several B&Bs in the Quarter and I arranged flights and hotel reservations so we could meet up with them. Paul routed through DC and we flew the rest of the way together. He didn't know what he was going to do with Alli when he caught up with her. I knew exactly what I was going to do when I got my hands on Sar so I made a few suggestions.
We checked into our hotel and then we headed to Mother's. Mother's is a restaurant not far from the Hyatt on the edge of the Quarter. It's one of the first places Sar would go because their Po Boy sandwiches are outstanding. We ordered a couple of them and showed the cashier pictures of our wives. Laughter followed. Yeah, they had been there.
Hightailed it over to Jackson Square after that and headed straight for Ye ol' Train shop. Sure enough, Alli and the imp had made a stop there. Paul wanted to look around but I assured him we'd come back before we left town. Again the cashier had confirmed my suspicions. Alli had purchased several railroad cars for Paul who is a collector and Sar had bought me another caboose. Cafe du Monde is just off the square and we headed in that direction. Beignets are best eaten in the morning or very late at night but Sar can't resist coffee made with chicory so we went there next.
Do I know this little gal of mine? The proprietor said 2 very pretty young women bought a couple dozen beignets and enough coffee to sink a Seal team. By now they should be running out of steam so we headed to the B&Bs off the main streets of the Quarter. It took about an hour but eventually, a concierge recognized their pictures. He wouldn't let us know what room they were in but he did let us sit in the small lobby while we waited for the miscreants to show up.
Didn't take long before I heard an ut-oh and I knew they were here. I moved fast. I didn't want them to get away. Caught the imp around the waist and held on while Paul got a firm hold of Alli. The concierge picked up all the packages they dropped when we grabbed them.
Headed to their room and got them packed. Sar insisted I pay for the room which I did while Paul kept an arm around a very angry Alli. Hustled them into a cab and got them to our hotel. We had adjoining rooms and I locked the connecting door when we were alone. Sar made a beeline for the bathroom but I caught her before she could lock herself in. The birbantella knew I was loaded for bear.
I asked her if there was something she wanted to tell me but all she said was that Alli needed her and didn't think I'd mind that she went away for a little while. I told her she knew Alli and Paul needed to work out their own worries and that she should have stayed out of it. Her objections and arguments didn't hold water and I told her she was getting spanked for going away without discussing it with me first and for making me crazy with worry. Sar has been to New Orleans on a number of occasions. A family she lived with as a youngster has roots here and they spent a bit of time in the Quarter. She was comfortable here but I wasn't happy that she was here with another imp. Those 2 have a long history together and God only knows what mischief they could get into without much effort.
This event took place before I became a Neanderthal or a baboon butthead. By my reckoning, those were her Attila the Hun days and the occasional pissant epithets aimed in my direction. Sar has always been creative when she cusses.
Alli had a few things to say when we met up the next morning but before she said much, Paul swatted her bottom. She must have blushed 10 shades of red and more so when I winked at her husband. It was obvious he had taken my advice to heart. We had 2 chastised imps on our hands and now that the slate had been wiped clean and we knew they were safe, we decided to treat them to a few days of shopping and sightseeing and eating the fine food New Orleans is known for.
Both of them had to buy a suitcase to cart home everything they bought. Paul and I are 2 of the lucky guys in this world that are madly in love with our wives and happy to spoil them. Alli and Paul patched up their differences. Sar and I had a few special nights that closely mirrored our honeymoon. All was well again.
The calm didn't last too long but that's a story for another time.