Bimbo Barbie Gets It Good!
One of my passions in life is animal rescue. On occasion, we foster a dog that has been neglected, abandoned, abused, etc. We specialize in very large breeds because most people won't take them in, get them rehabilitated, socialized and ready for adoption.
Currently, we are fostering two Rotties who were taken into custody because their owner abused them. The female is doing very well; the male is still a bit skittish around strangers. I used to teach dog "obedience" classes and I "work" the dogs for a short time every day. I always "loop" them (leashes tied to each other) after their individual sessions and Cowboy always stays with me in case one of them decides a squirrel or cat is more fun to chase than to follow my hand signals and I neglect to drop the lead in time to save myself from being dragged behind them. I do have a break-away lead but they don't always work.
Anyway, David, a very close friend of ours, came over last weekend and brought his newest girl toy - Busty Bimbo Barbie - wearing a tank top, no bra, short short shorts, (yessirree, she does shave VERY close - waaayyyy too much information) and strappy 3" FM sandals. Cowboy rolled his eyes; I got my butt pinched hard so I wouldn't say what I was thinking...
Since Cowboy had to be in the back yard while I was looping the dogs, David and Barbie Doll joined us. In a very friendly tone of voice (since Cowboy was watching and listening) I warned her not to get too close to the dogs because they were still a little skittish around strangers and I didn't want to take a chance she'd get hurt.
"No problem," Bimbo said. "I love animals." (Which gave me a whole new picture about our friend David!)
Anyway, the dogs were looped and in a "to me" and "drop" command. That means I hand signaled them to come to me in a trot and then drop to a down position when my hand went up. So, at a good sized clip, 230 pounds of Rottie are coming toward me, (jaws capable of 2000 lbs per square inch of pressure in their bites) and Bimbala runs out in FRONT of them to pet them because they're such nice doggies... and to save her GD life, I immediately signal the drop command and yell STAY at the same time so they don't just plow right over her sweet lil' curvaceous body and/or have her for dinner. (I haven't taught them DON'T EAT yet.)
Male Rottie stops within a foot or so of her and Sweet Cheeks from "Hell, yes! I'm as stupid as I look! Dumbville" yells at him. "BAD DOG! SHAME ON YOU!" and smacks 120 lb Rottie across his very wide muzzle. Dog growls. I yell "BACK!" which he obeys and take off my walking shoe and charge the bitch! I'm going to blister her butt so hard it might even penetrate her short short shorts which I am positive is covering her teeny tiny brains!
I have almost reached my goal - my arm is back - ready to swing when a larger and stronger arm is around my waist and I'm now looking at the ground from the top of a certain 6'5" Cowboy's shoulder. "Sarrrr, don't even think about it," he hisses.
Enraged, I turn the air blue. Now I am seriously concerned he is going to turn my butt a nice shade of red. When he finally puts me down, he has removed the shoe from my hand and the other one that was on my foot (purely as a backup) and growls. There is a particular growling sound Cowboy makes when his patience is worn a little thin.... when I hear that sound, I generally hightail it to the other side of the house, putting as many doors and other barriers between us until such time as I can get out of the house and into my car and down the road before he catches up with me. The score is about 50-50 with me getting out of the house and Cowboy catching me before I leave. (What happens when he catches me is another story entirely.)
Meanwhile, my face is buried in Cowboy's shirt so my cursing is muffled and the entire neighborhood is spared the knowledge that I am capable of the most interesting word combinations known to mankind. With all due modesty, I confess I adore words and can be very colorful when the occasion arises. (Were you born an asshole or have you just been practicing all your life? So, it's true! They DID put Humpty Dumpty back together again! Good Lord! They actually let you breed? Jeez! There goes the gene pool. I'm absolutely positive a frontal lobotomy would do wonders for you.) are some of my LEAST offensive expressions.
About the time I am giving serious consideration to breaking away from Cowboy's grip and just beating Busty Barbie with my fist, I hear her scream. Cowboy looks over his shoulder, I peek under his arm.
Hole Mole! (Yes, that's how you spell it.)
David has the Bimbo across his knees, short short shorts down (no panties, no thong, nada, nothing) and is spanking her hard and fast and really hard. Her butt is FLAMING red and between spanks and her shrieks, I hear words like - stupid - could have been killed - are you nuts? - and what were you thinking? - going to beat your brains out! (See! I told you her brains were in her butt.)
Cowboy and I looked at each other and grinned. We both went back to the Rotts who were "down" and behaving themselves. I swear that male Rottie's little stubby tail was wagging a mile a minute while he watched Bimbala get what she deserved.
I don't think David will be bringing her back to our house any time soon. I am curious, though, what kind of an animal he really is. When I asked Cowboy about it, he gave me "that look." I can't wait to see who David brings over next time he comes to visit. ~Sar~