Chocolate Rules!
by saradora
~~~~~~~

Cowboy has this misguided notion that vegetables are the answer to many of mankind's health issues... yawn... I disagree but I bet you figured that out. He reminds me every day that vegetables are good for me - that green things help make our bodies tick - that one cannot live on burgers, onion rings, milkshakes and Chinese take-out. He forgot to mention pizza and Twinkies.

"And furthermore," he announces e-v-e-r-y day, "you can *not* live on chocolate! Chocolate is *not* a major food group!"

Blasphemy!

Honest-to-Chocolate-gods... Almost keel over every time he says that.

No doubt about it - My argument that chocolate is a necessary mainstay of a discerning palate... needed some facts to back it up... empirical facts. So I did the necessary research and what follows is statistically significant and beyond question. Just because the wretched Squid is still laughing is totally immaterial and completely irrelevant, not to mention irreverent!

Vegetables: Nutrition Facts

Serving Size
The smallest bite possible. Try not to swallow.

Taste
Zero unless smothered with cheddar cheese and lots of it.

Calories
Who cares? Whatever the amount, it's a total waste of calories.

Fat
See above.

Cholesterol
Wayyyyy overloaded! Beware!

Sugar
Gimme a break!

Sodium
Wayyyyyy tooooo much!

Fiber
Way too much. Bad for the digestive system.

Protein
Zero

Carbohydrates
Probably loaded with artery cloggers.

Vitamins
Like I care.

Chocolate: Nutrition Facts

Serving Size
Depends on how much you can stuff into your mouth before he snatches it away.

Taste
Heaven on earth

Calories
Oh, grow up!

Fat
Take a wild guess!

Cholesterol
Ubetcha! Worth ever gram

Sugar
And plenty of it

Sodium
Salt in chocolate? Who cares?

Fiber
None whatsoever!

Protein
Uh-huh, Necessary energy boosters for times that try Cowboy's patience... and Sar's need to escape his large hand... fast! i.e., Sliding down the banister... climbing trees... running... squirming... plotting revenge...

Carbohydrates
Not familiar with the word.

Vitamins
Your mama!

I rest my case. ~sar~

~ End ~

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