Emma!
Part Six
by sarAdora

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7 July
Dear Emma,

Your book is here today. I would have bought it just to have it and say I know this woman that writes and is read by many thousands. You wrote a note on the page inside the cover and signed your name and I am filled with painful joy. Thank you for that, Emma. You humble me with your words.

I took Mei Ling to the beach at the lake today. There was much sand and I filled my palm with many grains. I asked your God and my own to give you as many readers as grains of sand on that small beach. It was a small prayer. I did not want to be greedy.

I send joyful thoughts to you and share your happiness at this success in your life.

Kyou

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21 November
Dear Emma,

It is turkey day again. I fear the Pilgrims tired of eating the same food over and over but Mei Ling was happy to enjoy all the new tastes. She has become a sweetness in my life and I am glad she is happy in our lives. My mother writes and wants to know when we will let our family grow. When it happens, it will happen and I think a child will settle Mei Ling in more comfort in this adopted land of ours.

I hope your writing does not keep you from enjoying life. I miss you and your letters and I will not write again unless you wish it.

Kyou

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26 February
Dear Emma,

Your letter revitalized me. We all need meaningful justification for our presence and for a very long time, mine was your presence in my life. I now have a new justification. Mei Ling will deliver our first child at the summer solstice. I asked my Gods to allow this very-old world-Chinese woman to have a babe with all its parts and in good health. Mei Ling grows with the child and is a lotus opening and very lovely.

She eats strange foods - cereal with figs. I do not care for figs. And she puts cinnamon in her milk. I told her it would taste sweet on her tongue if she puts it in her tea but she weeps when I say these words. I do not want her to weep - it is not good for a child to feel his mother's tears within her. I get up in the middle of the night and give her dim sum straight from the cold refrigerator. I watch her eat it with blackberry jam and plum sauce. It makes my throat tighten in horror and my stomach somersault at the idea of those tastes together. Since I cannot carry the babe for her, I do not tell her what I think of what she puts in her mouth. It is my strong prayer that when the child comes to us, he will not want to eat like that but will be a very proper Chinese person.

I hope you will be rejoiced in my news.

I think of you.

Kyou

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10 July
Dear Emma,

Your gift came to the house today. Thank you. Chinese children do not have rocking horses to ride but Emma! You sent a rocking tiger! My son will always know he was born in the year of the tiger and your gift will be a sweet memory of his small years. Mei Ling sends her thanks and also thanked our Gods for the friendship of a not-so-Chinese woman.

Thank you for thinking of my son.

I dare to say I miss you and I miss your words and sweet laughter in my ears. I would tell you more of what I miss but it is no longer my right to say words that would bring color to your cheeks. I do not want to snatch joy from the mother of my son.

Kyou

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27 December
Dear Emma,

I took Mei Ling to the Catholic's church to enjoy O Holy Night and the salutations and rituals to the Christ child. Her eyes filled with tears at the beauty of the customs these Catholics and Christians show for their God when He was born. I thought it a beautiful thing.

Our Gods have blessed my son and I am grateful that he has found favor with them. He grows right with all his parts and I am mindful that I am a father now and must guide him toward his destiny. I have faith that he will bring much joy to Mei Ling and to myself. He will learn to speak English as well as Chinese and at the same time. It is a wondrous thing that children have more ability to do this than those of us who are grown. My mother writes that my son's picture is displayed on her wall so that all who visit may also make favorable remarks - all of which she already knows and they say their words only to confirm her belief that the child is perfect. This brings a big smile to my face but a brief one so that the Gods are not offended.

The child has allowed a portion of my heart to return from Pittsburgh. He brings much joy. I am growing much affection for Mei Ling and she and I are trying to make the most of a marriage neither of us were seeking but both of us are not completely unhappy about.

I think of you and wish the Christmas spirit to be in your heart through the whole new year.

Kyou

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11 March
Dear Emma,

Your second book arrived today. It is improved since you sent me the first writing of it before Mei Ling came into my life. It is a story so filled with pain and also sweetness and I thank you for sending what is called first edition copy. I treasure it more because it is yours and you wrote a note to me on the inside cover.

My news is good as well. I have been promoted to chairman of my department at the university and have been asked to present a paper to a national group of professors of science. I will be in New York for this occasion and will call you if I may do that. Would it be permissible to meet you for a toast to our mutual successes? I would dearly like to raise my glass and clink it with yours over a very cold root of the beer.

Mei Ling will not be with me. If you do not think it would be proper, I will understand.

This Chinese man misses a not-so-Chinese woman.

Kyou

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9 April
Dear Emma,

You are spring to my winter and such gladness when I saw you that my heart was startled and flew from Pittsburgh in short pieces of seconds and jumped into my chest with much joy.

Your soft spoken "Kyou" when we met brought me to a pain so bitter and so sweet that I was undone and surprised myself that I could stand. And when you said "hold me" and my arms pulled you to my chest, I knew that I had lost much when I lost you in my life.

You are more of a beauty than when we first met. How did you do that? How did you grow so beautiful that my heart sings and cries at the same time when my eyes behold you? I have missed you more than I knew I had and came to that reality when I saw you again.

Thank you for being you. Your laughter and your accepting ways and your sensitivity to my place in life is a gift to me. Now I know the meaning of friendship. You give and do not ask in return and are there for me without question. There is honor in your friendship. I thanked my Gods for knowing you.

I think Mei Ling would like you and perhaps we will all meet one day and share the root of beer like old friends. I have told her more about you but no more than I would tell her of friends I have who are men. You are the only friend that writes books and has people around the world reading your words.

You told me too little about your life. I wanted to ask privacy questions. Do you go out with others? Is there a man in your life? Does he hold you close to himself as I did? I want you to have joy in your life and would wish only happiness for you even though that special joy is not shared with me only. I do not beg for answers to these probing thoughts. I beg only that you take each day your Gods give you and rejoice in them.

Emma, I return to my home and to Mei Ling and to my son. I leave you a large portion of my heart and you may keep it or send it back to Pittsburgh. Chinese men are aware they have souls and some few - such as mine - are as ancient as the mountains and resilient as the rice paddies in storms and drought and I say no more lest I offend the Gods of destiny.

My soul touches yours.

Kyou

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12 September
Dear Emma,

It has been more than a year since I have seen you. Your book trip to the Europe continent has been a long one and it must have been one that drained your energies. I saw you on my television set one early morning. The man who asked you questions and sent smiles your way was deeply attracted to you. That is simple to understand. Your beauty is uncommon and what comes from within your good heart adds sunshine and star dust to your outer self. I wish I had your way with words. I would tell you more.

I have received another book from your agent. He includes a note from you. Thank you for thinking of me. I say that wrong. Thank you Emma, for remembering our friendship.

I have a new son. Mei Ling has been fruitful and she has brought joy to me and I thank my Gods for making our union a pleasant one. I think she is happy and she has 2 babies to care for which is good for a proper very-old world-Chinese woman. We have moved into a nice house in the university district. It has stairs up and stairs down and a small yard where my children can play safe.

Mei Ling and I went to a dinner gathering a few weeks ago and one of the dinner participants mentioned your books. She is a devoted reader and said much about you as if she knew you. I think she does not but she has read all your published words and that has made her an expert in her own eyes. I said nothing but smiled at her words which were kind but not accurate as I know you. Mei Ling is learning English and asked if the woman was talking about you. I said yes. She told the woman we have your books on our shelf. I think this raised our esteem in the woman's eye. That has brought a smile to my face. I hope you are in fine health and that you have days of joy. I think of you when I can do so without taking away from my family.

Kyou

~ End Part Six ~

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