In a Heartbeat
Part Twenty Two
"What?" he asked as he held her in his arms in front of the blazing fire.
"Do you like children?"
"You know I do."
"What about your own children?"
His brows shot up. "Ollie! Are you... do you think you're...? I know we didn't use condoms but I thought you said you were on birth control - or did I imagine that?" He rolled up to a sitting position and tightened his arms around her. "Having a child with you would be... This is selfish but I can't tell you how happy it would make me if you were pregnant with our baby. Are you pregnant, Olivia?"
"I don't know, it's too soon to tell, but it's possible." She looked directly at him and spoke softly. "JJ, when we were at that place... the only thing I had was the clothes I was wearing - T-shirt and panties - nothing else. I missed my birth control pills two days in a row. I remembered them when we got to your house and was about to start taking them again but..." Ollie paused to take a deep breath. JJ remained silent, waiting to hear what she had to say.
"At first, I thought it didn't matter - thought you didn't want to make love to me. Later, when we got here... I thought this was all we'd have and I wanted your baby." Her voice got softer. "I wanted it badly."
"Why?" he asked just as softly.
"So I'd have something of you when I was alone again. I'd have a baby to love and maybe, he or she would look like you and I'd always have a part of you and..." She looked up into his eyes. "Are you angry with me for not telling you?"
"No," he said tenderly, one hand cupping her face, his lips dropping to hers. "I would only have been angry if you had our child and I didn't know about it. I would never desert you or our baby, Ollie, and I do hope the child looks like you."
He pushed her onto her back, leaning over her, most of his weight balanced on his elbows that were on either side of her. "But since we both agree we'd like a child, I think we should get you pregnant if you're not... and ensure that you are... if you are. You want a boy or a girl?" he asked as he pulled her shirt up to nuzzle her breasts.
"Either - just want a healthy child," she murmured, her hand slipping below his sweats. "What about you?"
"Anything that comes from my loins and your body will be beautiful, my love. But our son... or our daughter is not going to be named JJ or Ollie."
Ollie laughed softly. "It's a deal, Admiral."
"I knew you'd agree, Colonel," he replied, covering her mouth and ending the discussion.
They went to bed early the night before they had to leave. The world they lived in awaited them - the one they were currently living in held more promise and greater peace. But... they were both career military and knew their duty - neither willing to shirk it or besmirch its honor - at least, not any more than they thought they had.
They held each other, kissing and touching and succumbing to the needs of their bodies. The loving was intense, passionate, and necessary. They didn't know how long they'd have to endure until they could make love again. Neither mentioned that. Neither wanted to let go of the other.
"Attention on deck!"
"As you were," Admiral Hamilton barked as he crossed the bullpen returning greetings after his long leave. His eyes took in his domain, aware that Ollie was already in her office and wondering how soon he could touch her again.
She watched him cross the bullpen and mentally undressed him, now aware that her previous fantasies about his body were nothing compared with the real thing. She couldn't help smiling as she pictured him crossing the public arena in his birthday suit.
JJ closed the door to his office and leaned against it, a slight blush on his face. I bet she undressed me as I walked to my office. He chuckled. Gonna have to teach that jarhead some manners.
Staff meeting was easier than they had hoped. After the formalities, all had asked the Admiral a few brief questions about his leave and then asked the same of Ollie.
"Did you enjoy your leave time as much as I did, sir?" Ollie asked with a smile, her unassuming demeanor keeping him calm.
"I did, Colonel, thank you," he acknowledged. "And you?"
"Actually, it was the best leave I ever had," she admitted.
"Would you care to elaborate?" he asked with a slight curve to his lips and a twinkle in his eyes.
"No sir! I would not."
"You must have had a *really* good time?" he teased.
"It was extraordinarily satisfactory," she said, surreptitiously pinching her thigh so she wouldn't burst into laughter.
"That's a good way to describe my leave as well," he chuckled and changed the subject to ask about a case that was currently at trial.
He called her into his office before quitting time. "Everything go all right, today?"
"Yes, sir, it did."
He arched a brow at her formality but decided it was best to keep things formal while they were in uniform as well as in limbo as to their situation.
"Going home now, Ollie?"
"No sir. Going to my apartment."
"Ollie..." he said softly, moving from his desk to stand in front of her.
"My home is where you are, JJ," she whispered, her eyes beginning to fill.
"Doubts about whether we can get through this, Olivia?"
"Not as long as you're beside me," she reached for his hand and briefly squeezed it.
"I'll always be there, Ollie," he cupped her chin. "Always," he promised.
The weeks passed slower than usual. JJ and Ollie didn't even chance stolen moments. They did call each other after hours and once in a while, were alone long enough to squeeze each other's hands. He made a habit of catching her eye at least once a day - assuring her of his constant presence, his strength, and his love for her.
One weekend she drove to his home, unable to be without him a moment longer. When he opened the door, he pulled her in so swiftly, her feet left the ground. Not that she noticed. He slammed the door shut, locked it and took her straight to his bed.
They came together in a fury of arms and legs - teeth and lips and tongues. There was no way to call their union lovemaking. It was mating - raw animal hunger to mate - to join - and to procreate - to reproduce who and what they were into another human being. It was fast and furious, hard and rough, sealing their need for each other for as long as fate deemed. He roared his release into the shudders of her orgasm and her inner walls squeezed him again and again - keeping him semi-erect until he regained his breath and his strength and slowed his movements to make soft sweet and tender love to the woman who had stolen his heart.
His hands caressed her back, her neck, and her shoulders, finally moving to her heaving breasts. His mouth suckled her gently, his tongue teasing and taunting, making the nipples taut and wanting. His hips arched forward slowly, retreated, moved into her again, each thrust a gentle joining of his loins and her sex. Ollie responded in kind - her arms around him, her hands stroking his flesh as tenderly. They were quiet in the aftermath of the loving, both convinced that if Ollie wasn't already pregnant, she definitely conceived on this day.
Later, they argued quietly over their silence. Neither had been willing to admit to fraternization regardless of the circumstances. Ollie wasn't guilt ridden, but JJ had some doubts, arguing that if it came to light, he should have reported it. He concluded it was too late to worry about that and would pay the consequences - no matter what they were.
They reaffirmed their love once more before Ollie went back to her apartment.