In a Heartbeat
When JJ finally let her up for air, they were panting, both wanting the same thing - fulfillment.
"Are you going to charge me with insubordination, JJ?" she asked quietly, her fingers massaging the back of his neck, her other hand squeezing his formidable biceps.
"No," he murmured softly, her hardened nipples pressing into his chest. The feel of her soft body made him hunger for her even more. "I'm going to charge you with willful and wanton behavior."
"Indecent behavior? Conduct unbecoming?"
"Nothing indecent about you, Olivia Meadows," his voice huskier by the moment, his soft drawl washing over her.
"What about the conduct part?" she badgered a little. "I could use an admiral's mast if you administer it in bed."
"I think you should stop while you're ahead," he whispered, cupping her face and kissing her again - gently this time - bringing tears to her eyes.
"Why did you do that?" she moaned. "Kiss me hard so I don't fall further under your spell. Kiss me hard so I can believe I pushed you over the edge - so that I can convince myself that you lost control because I drove you to it. Don't kiss me tenderly," she snapped, then whimpered, her voice catching on a breath, the words choking her. "Don't treat me gently. Don't treat me like you give a damn about me. I'll melt into a puddle and there won't be anything left of me unless you're there to... to..."
"To what?" he asked softly, the tenderness he wanted to show her welling up and filling his throat. "Ollie?" he tilted her chin up to look at her. "To what?"
"Hmmm, that CIA operative was right," Clyde commented. "There's a history between these two. What do you make of it?" he asked his partner who was more adroit when it came to the human psyche.
"The desire they have for each other is obvious," Bonnie explained. "My feeling is... they've never acted on it. Don't know if they've ever come close to acting on it, but I don't think they have. Now, they're in a situation that has put both of them under a great deal of stress - and not just the natural state of anxiety one would expect from their current circumstances - something more. The marine in particular, is showing mood swings - some direct - some subtle. She's trying to force the issue about sex, but it's almost as if she wants him to hurt her, as if that's all she can expect from a sexual partner. Methinks the lady has a past she hasn't let go of. Of course, I could be mistaken - that's just my initial gut feeling. I'll have to profile her before I cast that opinion into stone."
"And the Admiral?"
"Now there's an interesting paradox. The man has ethics, is loyal to a fault to his military code of conduct and yet... his desire for her seems to be more than sexual. If he were just lusting for her, he'd ignore her attempts to couple with him. He'd show contempt and be more... what's the word I'm looking for? Be more... admirally, more like her commanding officer."
"He's doing that," a technician offered.
"Yes, but he's also vacillating. One moment he barks at her, the next, he's tender and considerate."
"He did kiss her with a great deal of passion," the technician sighed.
"Angry passion," Bonnie said. "If he was just lusting, he probably wouldn't have bothered to kiss her. He probably would have simply mounted her and then ignored her when he satisfied his need. No," she said thoughtfully. "The Admiral cares for her - a lot. And it's killing him. He wants her but his code of honorable behavior is interfering with his desires."
"But he *did* kiss her," the technician persisted.
"Yes, he did, and that's the paradox. He's torn between his ethics and his heart. He's not just a two-star admiral loyal to the Navy - he's a man. Under the fašade he normally shows to the world, he has a heart - a heart that feels deeply. He's an interesting mix of strength and passion and tenderness."
Ollie didn't answer JJ's question. Whatever tender persuasion he might have used to get her to open up to him faded as the oxygen level in the room dropped and they slept.
They slept a little longer than necessary but the psychologists needed time to alter their plan. When they woke, a tray overflowing with food awaited them on the small table at the foot of the bed.
There was another note attached.
"Mmmm, that smells good," Ollie swallowed, ready to dive into the repast.
"Do I smell burgers?" JJ arched his brows, sitting up against the headboard.
"Yes, sir," Ollie gloated. "And fries and onion rings and milkshakes. Oh yeah, I'm there."
"What the hell kind of meal is that for an adult?" JJ snarled, grabbing the note and leaving the food to Ollie.
"What would you have preferred, sir?" she mumbled, her mouth already filled with fries, a burger in one hand and a milkshake in the other.
He gave her an exasperated look. "Steak, baked potato, salad, a glass of Port," he enumerated.
"I was sure you'd want Italian food, Admiral"."
"I could live with that," he murmured, opening the note. "If it's good Italian - pasta e fagioli, baked ziti with extra mozzarella, or pasta al dente with a rich marinara sauce, calamari in pesto on the side, yeah. I could eat that."
"What's the note say?"
"It says... Damnation! Who the hell *are* these people?"
"What... what do they want us to do?" Ollie asked, determined not to cave, determined to take it like a marine. This is war, she reminded herself. I was trained for this.
Without a word, he handed the note over and helped himself to a burger and a milkshake. Ollie was awfully quiet - which didn't bode well. JJ got up and leaned against the wall, quietly eating while he waited for her explosion.
"Ad... Admiral?" she stuttered, dropping her hamburger, her appetite quickly evaporated.
"Lieutenant Colonel Meadows?" JJ said quietly.
"They... they want us to... are they perverts, sir? Are they making a porn flick? I... I... It's one thing to... but on command? How are we going to...? I'd rather we... Sir?"
"Makes the other note seem innocuous, doesn't it?" he murmured.
"Yes." Her voice was barely audible. "It does."
"Finish eating, Ollie," he said firmly.
"That's an order, Colonel." His voice remained calm but firm and he stared at her until she picked up her hamburger.
"Aye-aye, sir," she swallowed the lump in her throat and concentrated on eating.
He waited until she finished and then gestured her into the bathroom. Closing the door behind them, he turned the water on in the shower and pulled her into the tiny cubicle. There wasn't room for both of them to stand comfortably and JJ put his arms around Ollie's back, hugging her to his chest. He rested his chin on her head and let the warm water cascade over them. "It's going to be all right, Ollie. You have to trust me," he said into her ear. "I'm not going to..."
"We have to," she lifted her head to look at him. "If we don't, we'll never get out of here. What if we make love? Do you suppose they'd still want us to...?"
"I don't know, maybe," he said, now painfully aware that her T-shirt was wet and her breasts were clearly outlined and visible to his hungry gaze. He groaned low. Her nipples were taut and pushing into his chest and worse, his erection was poking into her belly.
"Ollie... Olivia... I... Christ Almighty! Can't take much more of this," he groaned. "They might get what they want without my even... Olivia, you're so..."
"You want me," she said simply, arching her hips toward him. "I know you want me. It's okay, JJ. It's just sex. We can do this. We don't have to make anything out of it. I'm not asking for a ring and marriage. It's just sex. Let's do it and get out of here."
"Olivia, I can't. It's against regs. It's... You're going to kill me," he groaned louder, his hands cupping her ass, pulling her to him.
"You're so hard, JJ," she murmured against his neck, flicking her tongue out, licking the drops from his throat. "And I want you. I know you want me. Let's..."
"No, it's not about sex. If you were anyone else... anyone," he said huskily, "I could just seduce you and be done with it, but..."
"It's me?" she said, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "You don't want to have sex with me?"
"No, I don't want to have sex with you," he admitted and cupped her face, his lips covering hers. "I want to make love to you."